this pregnancy...

is so relaxed. so nice and sweet and simple. peaceful.

i enjoyed my pregnancies with connell and isobel, too, but not in the same way. connell's was littered with doctor's visits, testing, ultrasounds, the ever-looming 'high-risk' label for a persistent ovarian cyst, the question of gestational diabetes...not to mention having to work a full-time job and living in an apartment that we came to call 'the bat cave'....

but i enjoyed feeling the movements, getting to know his personality a little before he was born, watching my belly grow, feeling like i was doing the most important thing in the world, growing a baby...

with izzy, things were a little more relaxed...flexible part-time job, a nice apartment, the already cemented decision to homebirth...but then there was the question of prenatal care...who to see? should i see anyone at all? will they get me in trouble for wanting to homebirth? i didn't come to the decision to have an unassisted pregnancy until the beginning of the second trimester, and it was nerve-wracking. liberating, but nerve-wracking. so i spent a good amount of time reading, researching, learning. i felt more in tune with her than i had with connell.

now it's time for #3...life has managed to be stressful with a job i've decided to quit, a husband working full-time and doing an internship, kids in transitional phases, a cat who apparently has a death wish...but the pregnancy itself is just so matter-of-fact. the big decisions have already been made (UP/UC, no question). i've heard the heartbeat. i've felt movement. i have no fear, no worry. it's wonderful!

i'm doing things a little differently this time. i haven't monitored my weight, at all. i'm not concerned about it. also not worried about blood pressure at the moment, since i typically run way low anyways. i'll probably check it a couple times nearer to the end, but as long as i'm feeling good, i don't see a need. i'm not concerned about keeping records like i was last time.

i did check around for the fundus a couple nights ago out of curiosity, and it's just below my belly button at 17 weeks. i feel occasional thunks and rolls, nothing regular yet, but definite 'i'm here!' movement. can't wait for the big kicks and punches :)

i am so relieved i came to the decision long ago that my body works and that no one knows my pregnancy better than i do. i can't imagine doing things any other way at this point.