so, i'm getting into organization mode. making sure i have birth supplies and baby supplies and the house is organized and i'm comfy cozy in my nest....why this early? i have no idea. maybe it's because i already have 2 littles running around and i know how much longer projects can take while i try to work around them and the ever-growing belly. anyways, feeling the need to get some of this listed, because i fear i may be going overboard with the preparation...
my list of supplies is pretty much done, surprisingly enough. i feel pretty good about that. here's what we have so far:
Still Need:
fabric for wipes
chux pads
postpartum pads
ziploc baggies for placenta
Acquired:
stretchy wrap
red raspberry leaf tea
nursing pads
prefolds
birth ball
long-sleeve shirts
herbs
not too bad. no real rush on the Still Need items, so that makes me feel more prepared. but, then there are the projects.....
CLEAR OUT
master closet
master bath
kids' bath
kids' closet
hall closet
kitchen
storage closet
buy more storage containers
clean walls
wash carpets
clear off patio/store gardening stuff
new screen in sliding door
new curtains
new couch
KNITTING PROJECTS
finish tubey (my sweater)
newborn woolies stash
sweaters for kids
hat for dad
socks and booties
babywearing cover for coat
ack. that's where i get overwhelmed.
is all of that necessary for the birth? no, of course not. my rational mind understands that i can have a baby with cluttered closets, marks on the walls, ripped curtains and sliding door screen, and an old couch. these are not necessary projects (the carpet cleaning is negotiable). and the only necessary knitting projects are the newborn woolie stash, socks and booties, and the babywearing cover (although the cover is negotiable).
so why does this all need to be done? what is it about cleaning and organizing the house that makes having a baby seem...easier? is it just because these are projects i wanted to get done earlier this year (hell, let's be honest, i wanted this crap done LAST year)? that's the only logical explanation i can think of because in reality, babies will come when they're ready, regardless of how the house looks. they don't care how the house looks. all they require is a dry butt, a boob, and your warmth....not color-coordinated storage containers with lists taped to the outside outlining what's inside them.
i think maybe i just need to let go....do what i can and scrap the rest, stop worrying about it. just knit and breathe....what do you think?
Monday, October 5, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
water vs. land
disclaimer: i think waterbirth is amazing, i really do. but in doing some soul searching, i've come to the conclusion that it's just not for me. i don't think it's bad or 'less than' or anything. it's just not me. so please don't take offense if you've had a waterbirth. this isn't about you, it's about me.
i started this pregnancy being overwhelmingly drawn to waterbirth. i read stories, watched videos, surfed around waterbirth websites....started gathering supplies, too. posted questions on forums on what all i would need, etc.
and then, i stopped. not consciously. i wasn't even aware that my interest had waned....until i started going over my supply list a few days ago. i realized i hadn't gotten any more waterbirth supplies. hadn't wanted to, actually. why? why would i suddenly go from being drawn to waterbirth, to now ignoring it?
i thought about the stories i'd read and videos i'd seen. they all looked and sounded wonderful...why didn't i want that? why was my mind rebelling? i compared what i had seen and read to my UC 3 years ago...what were the differences? what was it about land that seemed so much better than water?
i don't know why, but it suddenly hit me....the mess. yes, the mess. one of the things people freak out about or have umpteen million questions about when they hear 'homebirth' in the first place...some women actually go to hospitals and birthing centers because they don't want to deal with it. me? i want it. and i'm afraid the water in the pool would lessen the experience for me.
yes. i want to grab a slippery baby, maybe covered in vernix, maybe not, and hold it next to my heart, smelling the amniotic fluid and the blood and everything else, and i want to have that unadulterated mess on my skin for as long as i want it there, to be washed off at a time that is convenient and appropriate for me and the baby. i don't want to miss it. i don't want it to be in the water i'm sitting in, to be pumped out of the pool and washed away.
there's just something about it that taps into a primal part of my brain and triggers hormones and endorphins and makes it all so vivid...it's a trip. really. that's the only way i can think of to phrase it. suddenly you're the most powerful thing in the universe, having just pushed out and brought forth a new life, and here you are, holding this new life, sitting in the mess that helped create and nurture it for 9 months...and the rest of the world falls away. this is it. this is all that exists, all that matters for right now. and you know in the back of your mind, if anything threatened this tiny creature, you'd bare your teeth and rip the threat to shreds. you'd call up reserves of strength you never thought you possessed and set the world on fire if that's what it took.
and that's what i want. again.
waterbirth is beautiful, it is. but, in my mind, on my most basic, primal level, water dampens, it puts out fires. and the fire is what i need.
i started this pregnancy being overwhelmingly drawn to waterbirth. i read stories, watched videos, surfed around waterbirth websites....started gathering supplies, too. posted questions on forums on what all i would need, etc.
and then, i stopped. not consciously. i wasn't even aware that my interest had waned....until i started going over my supply list a few days ago. i realized i hadn't gotten any more waterbirth supplies. hadn't wanted to, actually. why? why would i suddenly go from being drawn to waterbirth, to now ignoring it?
i thought about the stories i'd read and videos i'd seen. they all looked and sounded wonderful...why didn't i want that? why was my mind rebelling? i compared what i had seen and read to my UC 3 years ago...what were the differences? what was it about land that seemed so much better than water?
i don't know why, but it suddenly hit me....the mess. yes, the mess. one of the things people freak out about or have umpteen million questions about when they hear 'homebirth' in the first place...some women actually go to hospitals and birthing centers because they don't want to deal with it. me? i want it. and i'm afraid the water in the pool would lessen the experience for me.
yes. i want to grab a slippery baby, maybe covered in vernix, maybe not, and hold it next to my heart, smelling the amniotic fluid and the blood and everything else, and i want to have that unadulterated mess on my skin for as long as i want it there, to be washed off at a time that is convenient and appropriate for me and the baby. i don't want to miss it. i don't want it to be in the water i'm sitting in, to be pumped out of the pool and washed away.
there's just something about it that taps into a primal part of my brain and triggers hormones and endorphins and makes it all so vivid...it's a trip. really. that's the only way i can think of to phrase it. suddenly you're the most powerful thing in the universe, having just pushed out and brought forth a new life, and here you are, holding this new life, sitting in the mess that helped create and nurture it for 9 months...and the rest of the world falls away. this is it. this is all that exists, all that matters for right now. and you know in the back of your mind, if anything threatened this tiny creature, you'd bare your teeth and rip the threat to shreds. you'd call up reserves of strength you never thought you possessed and set the world on fire if that's what it took.
and that's what i want. again.
waterbirth is beautiful, it is. but, in my mind, on my most basic, primal level, water dampens, it puts out fires. and the fire is what i need.
Monday, August 10, 2009
this pregnancy...
is so relaxed. so nice and sweet and simple. peaceful.
i enjoyed my pregnancies with connell and isobel, too, but not in the same way. connell's was littered with doctor's visits, testing, ultrasounds, the ever-looming 'high-risk' label for a persistent ovarian cyst, the question of gestational diabetes...not to mention having to work a full-time job and living in an apartment that we came to call 'the bat cave'....
but i enjoyed feeling the movements, getting to know his personality a little before he was born, watching my belly grow, feeling like i was doing the most important thing in the world, growing a baby...
with izzy, things were a little more relaxed...flexible part-time job, a nice apartment, the already cemented decision to homebirth...but then there was the question of prenatal care...who to see? should i see anyone at all? will they get me in trouble for wanting to homebirth? i didn't come to the decision to have an unassisted pregnancy until the beginning of the second trimester, and it was nerve-wracking. liberating, but nerve-wracking. so i spent a good amount of time reading, researching, learning. i felt more in tune with her than i had with connell.
now it's time for #3...life has managed to be stressful with a job i've decided to quit, a husband working full-time and doing an internship, kids in transitional phases, a cat who apparently has a death wish...but the pregnancy itself is just so matter-of-fact. the big decisions have already been made (UP/UC, no question). i've heard the heartbeat. i've felt movement. i have no fear, no worry. it's wonderful!
i'm doing things a little differently this time. i haven't monitored my weight, at all. i'm not concerned about it. also not worried about blood pressure at the moment, since i typically run way low anyways. i'll probably check it a couple times nearer to the end, but as long as i'm feeling good, i don't see a need. i'm not concerned about keeping records like i was last time.
i did check around for the fundus a couple nights ago out of curiosity, and it's just below my belly button at 17 weeks. i feel occasional thunks and rolls, nothing regular yet, but definite 'i'm here!' movement. can't wait for the big kicks and punches :)
i am so relieved i came to the decision long ago that my body works and that no one knows my pregnancy better than i do. i can't imagine doing things any other way at this point.
i enjoyed my pregnancies with connell and isobel, too, but not in the same way. connell's was littered with doctor's visits, testing, ultrasounds, the ever-looming 'high-risk' label for a persistent ovarian cyst, the question of gestational diabetes...not to mention having to work a full-time job and living in an apartment that we came to call 'the bat cave'....
but i enjoyed feeling the movements, getting to know his personality a little before he was born, watching my belly grow, feeling like i was doing the most important thing in the world, growing a baby...
with izzy, things were a little more relaxed...flexible part-time job, a nice apartment, the already cemented decision to homebirth...but then there was the question of prenatal care...who to see? should i see anyone at all? will they get me in trouble for wanting to homebirth? i didn't come to the decision to have an unassisted pregnancy until the beginning of the second trimester, and it was nerve-wracking. liberating, but nerve-wracking. so i spent a good amount of time reading, researching, learning. i felt more in tune with her than i had with connell.
now it's time for #3...life has managed to be stressful with a job i've decided to quit, a husband working full-time and doing an internship, kids in transitional phases, a cat who apparently has a death wish...but the pregnancy itself is just so matter-of-fact. the big decisions have already been made (UP/UC, no question). i've heard the heartbeat. i've felt movement. i have no fear, no worry. it's wonderful!
i'm doing things a little differently this time. i haven't monitored my weight, at all. i'm not concerned about it. also not worried about blood pressure at the moment, since i typically run way low anyways. i'll probably check it a couple times nearer to the end, but as long as i'm feeling good, i don't see a need. i'm not concerned about keeping records like i was last time.
i did check around for the fundus a couple nights ago out of curiosity, and it's just below my belly button at 17 weeks. i feel occasional thunks and rolls, nothing regular yet, but definite 'i'm here!' movement. can't wait for the big kicks and punches :)
i am so relieved i came to the decision long ago that my body works and that no one knows my pregnancy better than i do. i can't imagine doing things any other way at this point.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
the cost of UP/UC, first trimester report
okay, since 12 weeks is right around the corner, i figured i'd go ahead and post the first trimester tally.
i am not keeping track of purchases that would be made for any pregnancy. things like maternity clothes, car seat, expected fluctuations in grocery bills, etc. i am keeping track only of items i purchase that are specifically related to having an unassisted pregnancy and birth.
so far, this is what i've purchased:
prenatal vitamins - $10
mother to be tea - $5
red raspberry leaf tea - $4
papaya enzyme - $5
total: $24
why did i include prenatal vitamins? because i'm not seeing a care provider, therefore, not getting a prescription for prenatal vitamins, or simply being given prenatal vitamins. there is some controversy as to whether vitamins are even worth it or not (the whole 'expensive pee' argument). i get them and take them on occasion, but try to focus more on diet and what my body is telling me it needs to be eating.
items i have yet to purchase:
chux pads
labor/birth/postpartum herbs - teas, sitz bath, tinctures
birth ball
fishy pool
postpartum pads
some of the above items i know i'll be borrowing/gifted from friends. when i receive them, though, i'll list the expected purchase price just to show the total expense.
also, i should note that while i have a doppler (purchased by a friend; it's hers, but she lets me use it), a doppler isn't necessary. you can just as easily purchase a fetoscope from ebay or a childbirth supply website for something around $20 to $30.
so there it is. $24 so far. not bad, eh?
i am not keeping track of purchases that would be made for any pregnancy. things like maternity clothes, car seat, expected fluctuations in grocery bills, etc. i am keeping track only of items i purchase that are specifically related to having an unassisted pregnancy and birth.
so far, this is what i've purchased:
prenatal vitamins - $10
mother to be tea - $5
red raspberry leaf tea - $4
papaya enzyme - $5
total: $24
why did i include prenatal vitamins? because i'm not seeing a care provider, therefore, not getting a prescription for prenatal vitamins, or simply being given prenatal vitamins. there is some controversy as to whether vitamins are even worth it or not (the whole 'expensive pee' argument). i get them and take them on occasion, but try to focus more on diet and what my body is telling me it needs to be eating.
items i have yet to purchase:
chux pads
labor/birth/postpartum herbs - teas, sitz bath, tinctures
birth ball
fishy pool
postpartum pads
some of the above items i know i'll be borrowing/gifted from friends. when i receive them, though, i'll list the expected purchase price just to show the total expense.
also, i should note that while i have a doppler (purchased by a friend; it's hers, but she lets me use it), a doppler isn't necessary. you can just as easily purchase a fetoscope from ebay or a childbirth supply website for something around $20 to $30.
so there it is. $24 so far. not bad, eh?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
the cost of UP/UC
a thread on one of the forums i frequent made me think 'i should keep a running tab of the cost of pregnancy and birth supplies for a UP/UC'. just for curiosity's sake.
last time, i spent very little, but had only very basic supplies: a tupperware freezer bowl for the placenta and shoelaces for the cord. towels, sheets, and chux pads had been given to me secondhand from friends. i used my fabric scissors for the cord. as for pregnancy supplies, i had some tea and prenatal vitamins, lotion for belly, and some other indulgences. it never occurred to me to keep track of how much i was spending.
so far, i bought a bottle of prenatal vitamins (whole foods store brand, cost $10) and some Yogi Mother to Be tea ($5). total so far: $15
so here's what i'll do. i will post updates at the end of the 1st and 2nd trimesters, another towards the end of the 3rd trimester, and then after the birth, with a running tab of how much i've spent on UP/UC supplies.
last time, i spent very little, but had only very basic supplies: a tupperware freezer bowl for the placenta and shoelaces for the cord. towels, sheets, and chux pads had been given to me secondhand from friends. i used my fabric scissors for the cord. as for pregnancy supplies, i had some tea and prenatal vitamins, lotion for belly, and some other indulgences. it never occurred to me to keep track of how much i was spending.
so far, i bought a bottle of prenatal vitamins (whole foods store brand, cost $10) and some Yogi Mother to Be tea ($5). total so far: $15
so here's what i'll do. i will post updates at the end of the 1st and 2nd trimesters, another towards the end of the 3rd trimester, and then after the birth, with a running tab of how much i've spent on UP/UC supplies.
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